Coping Mechanisms for Stress

Stress is all around us.  It is at work, at home, socially, and many other places.  Managing the stress is difficult but in order for you to continue to perform at your best, there are ways to cope.
 
Problem and Emotion
There are two primary coping skills, problem-based and emotion-based.  Problem-based is situational like when you need to end a relationship or change jobs or deal with household repairs.  Emotion-based is when you need to deal with your feelings.  A good example is the loss of a loved one.  You cannot change the situation, you need to find ways to process your own emotions.
 
Sometimes you need both skills.  If so, talk to your counselor about which may be best targeted first.  For example, if you are upset about a bad performance review, it would be best to not speak until you have had time to calm down and process the information.  If the review was accurate, how can you change your behavior or skills to improve.
 
Skills
Some coping techniques can include:

• Asking for help from a friend or professional.  For a career-oriented stressor, there are employment counselors at community colleges or major universities.  For serious safety issues there are women's shelters.  Religious organizations offer volunteers to advise or suggest options.
• List.  Create a list of tasks that can help.  Then review the list to see which are doable and prioritize your actions.  Then work the plan.
• Boundaries.  If someone makes you feel inferior, limit your time with them.  See them in social situations where you can move around, if at all possible.
• Time management.  Not every call or email requires an immediate response.  Group return calls to use your time more effectively.  For children, except for emergency situations, give them specific times twice a day (like 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.) when they can call and make it a coordinated call.  Each child will get a chance to speak and offer their side of the situation or make a request.

 
What to Avoid
There are a number of strategies that have gained popularity but may actually be detrimental to your health and should be avoided:

• Alcohol and Drugs – Substances won't resolve your issues; they only mask the problems for a period of time.  In fact “self medicating” may actually create worse or larger problems.
• Stress Eating – Over eating or too much unhealthy food can lead to disorders.  The same is true with restricting or failing to eat. 
• Over Sleeping – This is another temporary escape if you sleep too much.  A solid 7 to 9 hours a night is appropriate.
• Retail Therapy – Shopping is another gateway resolution that can backfire and leave you in a worse position.

 
Most of these suggestions are reactions.  You should also develop some proactive strategies.  An example with weight loss when you have an upcoming holiday is that you need to decide how you will avoid overeating.  The bottom line is to find what works for you.  A counselor or therapist can help significantly.