How to Develop Emotional Intelligence

​Emotional Intelligence can be learned and developed through the application of specific strategies. 

• Reactions – How do you react to other people?  Think about your biases (we all have them).  Do you prejudge before you have all the information?  When you try to empathize, put yourself in their position.  You may be more able to accept their ideas and actions.
• Work – While it is nice to be humble about your accomplishments, you can still be confident in your ability to continue to produce good output in quality and speed.  Your confidence will reflect your ability to continue.  There is no need to brag.  Be sure to give credit to others when due; if it was a team effort, name them.
• Weaknesses – Everyone has downsides.  Recognize them in yourself.  If it is something you can change, do.  If not simply admit you are not perfect.
• Stress – Everyone deals with stress in their own ways.  Sometimes we get angry or blame others.  Sometimes it is no one's fault; it just happens.  Attempting to stay as calm as possible is a benefit to all around you.
• Responsibility – Assuming responsibility for your own actions is a sign of maturity.  If you have wronged someone, apologize honestly. 
• Actions – Think through your actions, especially those that will affect others.  If you follow the “golden rule,” you will make the best decision.

 
People who understand themselves have a high degree of emotional intelligence.  The more realistic we are about ourselves, strengths and weaknesses, the better we are able to empathize and manage our relationships with other people.  
 
Employers are paying more attention to EQ in their hiring and promotions.  They are seeking people who are:

• Self Aware – They are willing to be honest with themselves and work on target areas to improve.  It is important to recognize limitations and where we can best help others.
• Self Regulated – These people have great impulse control.  They have emotions but don't let them get out of control.  They think through a situation, especially a difficult one, to make the best decision possible.  They are comfortable with change; they have integrity; they are able to say no when appropriate.
• Motivated – They can see the big picture.  They are not concerned with immediate success but can recognize the long game and wait for results.  They are productive and enjoy a challenge.
• Empathetic – They are able to understand the feelings of others and act appropriately.  They are good listeners.
• Socially Active – They are easy to talk with and have good manners and ability to fit into different types of groups.  They have successful relationships with others in many different walks of life.

 
If you are interested in becoming more successful especially in business relationships, perhaps you should consider improving your EQ.  It will take some work but will be worth it in the long run for both your employment status and for your own well being.
Your therapist or psychiatrist can also give you tips on how to develop these skills for daily use.